Coracle Trust E-Reflections
The Beginnings of Identity
Tuesday 17 August 2010
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
When I am among the trees. Mary Oliver, Thirst
When Jesus was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it…When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
Jesus replied, “Why were you searching for me?” (Luke 2: 41-49)
Awakening to depths
The Celtic writer Philip Newell remarks that Jesus’s action is based on the beginnings of an awakening within himself of who he is. He continues ‘If we are not awake to the spiritual depths that are within us, and alert to inner truths…then we will live at a distance from our true selves…’
The words that strike me here are ‘beginnings’ and ‘selves’. ‘Who am I?’ is the classic obsession of the adolescent. Why am I me and not you? Why am I thinking what I am thinking? No-one else knows or feels as I do right at this moment. This generosity, this opportunity, feels unique, exciting if not a little unsettling. This search for place within a peer group (school friends) and the scrutiny that comes with sticking out may be painful.
Navigating the currents
There is here the surge of powerful currents, currents of belonging and of individuality jockeying for position. Ecclesiastical, parental and biblical authorities should steer us gently through to this expanded identity. Discerning what is most true and good in us may at times seem far from us. However, Mary Oliver hints at the hidden presence of a guiding Benevolence who is ever present, deep in the everyday at each and every turn of our head.
Let us then not hurry through the world, but walk slowly, and expect to bow often.
