But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, "Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?" (Luke 12:4-5 from Luke 12:1-8)
But: A hiding word
Six days before the celebration that is Passover, at the site and home of the spectacle of Lazarus’s return to life, and a dinner is laid on. To these sights and sounds is added the pungent cloud of perfume – it’s a delight for the senses. Interjected into this heady scene is Judas’s abrupt ‘but’, a note of naysaying, disguised as good intent: the poor are missing out. The motivation is clear from the text. Judas is missing out, an opportunity for gain is slipping by and he hides his true thinking behind something that seems inviolable, untouchable: a concern for the poor. Jesus, so often the spokesman for the poor and marginalised, is not bullied, embarrassed or thrown by this. He defends Mary (‘leave her alone’) and her motivation.
It makes me think of the things I hide behind, what my objectioning ‘but’ is really saying. When I throw up my hand to say ‘Stop!’, or light a fire whose smoke is merely a screen, how aware am I of my true motivation? Might an awareness of ‘but’ be a useful gift in the end? Also, what do I hide behind, push out in front to get an edge? What are the inviolables that I use for my own aims?
God sees and knows each heart and so I am both reassured (like Mary) and little more circumspect (as I hope Judas would have become).
Threshold meditation
With a ‘but’ in mind go to the threshold meditation.